in 2 days my mom died 8 years ago

i had a sprouted grain english muffin for breakfast

made by a company called ezekiel

clarified butter on top

left over from the whole 30 diet

hot coffee in a YETI mug I found in a classroom

filled with ice water, wearing an american flag sticker.


i need to read the blog article 100 ways to unplug

i need to close my eyes and sit and count my breaths

i need to be long-term planning and proactive and research how to get cheap land in minnesota so I can exit this traffic jam

i need to research vaccines

i need to comment on the Facebook posts people left about my question about vaccines so they know I appreciate it


last night i took a walk with the baby to kate’s soccer game

there were no unlistened to podcasts

i looked at my phone like a smoker

fumbles with a pack of cigarettes with no cigarettes inside

itching with urge for more


after the game, i was giving the baby a bath

and my sister called and asked me what mom said when

jess my girlfriend in college broke up with me because she wanted to date a girl from her frisbee team

and i said mom said well it’s better you find out now, rather than years from now, married, with kids and then mom said i always liked jess, she was really down to earth

and my sister said okay and we didn’t get to talk more because she had to go because her baby was done breastfeeding

and it’s hard to talk and burp at the same time


I’m going to yoga now. and then a massage. 

and then i don’t know what. 

i need to remember not to schedule massages during the

workout class kate likes to go to

which is monday wednesday friday

8:30, 9:30, 8:30


yeah YETI the coffee is still hot. 

yeah aldi breakfast blend. 

yeah small things quiet morning.