Hotel lobby oatmeal, diced apple, coffee, water from the sink tastes like fish. Fast-forward. Olive Garden breadsticks, salad, to-go box. Fast-forward. Thai sushi place, pad see ew, fried rice, orange slice. 

Rewind.

Soccer team lost 3-2 in overtime. Windy day. Ellie and I crouched in the shade. Can’t catch sun cancer. 

Fast-forward. More interesting to screen replay the day, watch your Story. 

Put a picture of the baby on Instagram. The girls ohmygod she’ssooooocute luv Instagram. 

My no-filter bio: Control freak. Introvert. Intellectual. Control. Control. Control. 

My no-filter history with alcohol. Cheap red wine. Clearance cocoa rum. Irish whiskey, bottom shelf. Seven years drinking every day. Then a year off. No boozing. Glug glug apple cider vinegar. Quuuiiittsssccchhh. Crack a carbonated water. Glug glug glug. Fast forward to three years ago. Local pale ale Wednesday. Local amber ale Saturday. One brew. Twice per week. No more. Fast forward to now. Same deal. Surviving semi-sober. 

New marital record. No fights this entire trip. Woohoo!

Don’t get fat. I was fat in middle school. Control. 50 push-ups. No dessert. 

Are you looking at me. Am I cool? You like these glasses, right? This piercing? This tattoo? I’m hip, right? You think I’m hip. 

Push. Don’t stop. Keep pushing. Write. 

Talk about psilocybin mushrooms. Talk about sex. And happiness that shifts like an oscillating fan. Ask the college kids what they think.

Hip hop. Drop it. Cosmic head bang. 

Do you have sex more than me? 

Enlightenment is a myth. I’m happy sometimes. What goes up must come down. 

I’m a first time father exhale do yoga no don’t drink beer. It’s Wednesday which is no drinking. These thoughts are quiet but I’m quiet. It’s okay don’t freak out the baby needs pants, even though she’ll grow out of them in neverrrrrrrrmind, man inhale get down on the carpet. Not to burn calories, just to upward facing dog, downward facing dog. Breathe slow mantra. 

Does a seizure feel like a full-body massage?

Why is orgasm little death in French?

Am I cool yet?

Really. Am I.

Seven hour drive back to Georgia. Call me 763.316.8323.