Last night I slept at the Holiday Inn for $72. Complimentary WiFi and egg-white and veggie omelets for breakfast. Shaped like small bananas, I had three. Added cream to my coffee since black felt unsatisfying. Amy from Thai Massage said she slept in her car. She said it’s surprising how little we need. I was like damn. I just burned $72. 

The minimalist enterprise has always intrigued me. Likely because I’m cheap. But also simplicity is so easy. Exit the desire trap, before the wheel really starts spinning. 

The best part of yesterday’s Thai Massage curriculum? The abdominal hara waves, for sure. Two palms, one on top of the other, resting on the receiver’s navel. Sync up inhale exhale. Giver and receiver. Sink in on the exhale. Like a wave, begin to mimic the tide. Palm press away, finger pull toward. 

DMT mixed with lotus flowers is called changa. The rush of blood. The loudness of one’s breathing. Similar to hara waves. According to my sacred academic studies. 

Kate texted me a photo of the baby. In a 1yr hoodie, sleeves rolled up. My lips arc up in smile. Meeting new people, I say the strange words 'my daughter.' Wooaahhh. The rush of blood. The loudness of breathing. 

One massage lady who is a mom said in 2035 there will be a rapture of collective consciousness. The planet will be healed. She went to Ecuador and did ayahuasca seven times. I keep meeting these people. 

For dinner, Kate made Polish sausage and sauerkraut. The baby was clamoring for our bowls, then the nutritional yeast. Anything to get her hands on. So hungry to live. 

On the car ride back from Atlanta, I grooved to the Desert Dwellers. This DJ is mad magnificent at manufacturing headspace. In the back, beside the car seat, the 14 pound all natural turkey was chilling in a cooler bag. Death was in the back seat and I didn’t even know it. Isn't it always?

In the waking up podcast, this guy who’s worked for years at a Zen center for dying says we should meditate on death in order that we may live more rich and mindful lives. The interviewer asks if that means we should live each day like it’s our last. The Zen guy laughs. The interviewer says surely it’s rational in some cases to assume an average lifespan, and live accordingly. Engage in long-term projects, for example. The Zen guy gets quiet for a moment. Then laughs. 

Is there a sense in which we take our lives too seriously? That Sisyphus’s task had nothing to do with the rock or the incline or the mountain, but his own smile? 

Ommmmmmm. The rush of blood. The loudness of breathing.

#altdad #amwriting #diary #holidayinn #thaimassage #baby