i called delta and was like okay so there was a mistake. i’m scheduled to fly back from christmas on january 7th but thats way too late and i know we booked the tickets a while ago but i didn’t realize how much family time that is and we’ve been loyal delta platinum customers forever soo…and the customer service lady named robin was like sure sir but it’ll require a $150 change fee, and i was like wait what and she said yes and I said really and she said yes and I said can you waive it and she said no so I said can you ask your supervisor and she said sure sir and then she came back on after a long hold and still said no sir and i said really can you ask another supervisor and she said sure sir and then the hold was even longer and again she said sorry no sir. and i was like really what the hell is delta platinum good for and she said I’m sorry sir have a good day.

so i immediately called back because determination and because persistence and i need my ticket changed because three weeks at home is way too long, two weeks is okay, but three weeks god i need personal time and space. so this time it was a dude and i was like yessss, i can do this. so i told him the story and he was like nah sir you’re not even delta platinum and i was like yes i am it says so right here on my credit card and he was like that’s through american express not through delta straight up. and i was like okay so what are you telling me and he said to be platinum for purposes of switching flights without the $150 fee you need to fly 100 flights a year, or once every three days. and i was like really because i’ve called and switched my flight before without a fee, which is total bs, but i tried and he said sorry sir. and i was like you can’t even do this as a one time benefit to a loyal customer. and he was gracious so he said no sir there’s only three circumstances when we’ll waive the fee for non platinum members. he said the first is if you’re suddenly hospitalized, the second is if your family member is suddenly hospitalized or dies, and the third is if your subpoenaed by a court of law. and then the light bulb went off in my head and I said okay thank you so much.

and then i hung up and called back immediately and was connected to this woman and i told her straight away that I’ve been subpoenaed and need to change the date of my ticket to make it back for court and she was like yes sir right away sir we’ll make that happen. and i felt warm and fuzzy all over and she said sir hold on the line until i confirm your tickets have been changed and i was like yes ma’am.

hopefully none of you work for delta. and if you do, hopefully you’re like the girl i thai massaged last night who just wrote a six page paper on immanuel kant’s theory of good behavior. because kant says according to her paraphrase that good actions are actions with good intent. and kant came up because i said i was preparing a rant about this instagram celebrity @nude_yogagirl who posts nude photos of herself doing yoga in order to raise awareness about body positivity. but i said it’s not very impactful because her body is picture perfect. and then the girl i massaged told me about kant.

so hopefully if you work for delta you understand that my intent is just to get home and back from christmas in one piece. hopefully you understand that sometimes less family time is more. hopefully you understand that this isn't thievery. i'm actually donating my time to delta performing a systems analysis for them, and i conclude that their customer service agents should not disclose under what circumstances fee waivers are given. i hope you understand that i’m a flawed human being and that we all are. lastly hopefully you understand that delta profiteers are making mounds of money and kate and i and ellieroo are surviving on 20k a year, and i’m not complaining about that whatsoever, but i’m saying, well you know what i’m —

i thought about whether i should post this. or not. protect myself from delta. or whatever. but thats the thing. everybody’s so busy saving face somebody needs to write the truth. might as well be me.

#altdad #diary #amwriting #delta #morality #christmas #anxiety #family #travel #survival #sorry #courtdate

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