At 8am, my college composition students will give short group presentations on the following topics: sensory deprivation float tanks, the heroin epidemic, DMT, Ajna Light Therapy, intermittent fasting, psilocybin mushrooms as anti-depressant, biology of orgasm, Wyn Hof method and the benefits of sauna. 

I pee in the yard some mornings. If it’s dark enough. Maybe it’s bad for the residential water supply. But the urge strikes and if I’m feeling frisky then I indulge. The front yard today. After 5:37am jog with the dog. Not long. Maybe 1/2 mile. Just to move the blood, for both our bodies. 

I wonder if it’s silly to wonder if there will be a time when Kate and I will have no more fights. (Rebranding them “communication errors” seems to take the sting off reality.) We are getting better, I’d say. Apologies are occurring more frequently, and sooner in the coal-raking process. When we fight, I’m referring to moments when a conflict takes at least an hour to de-escalate. But, I still notice the same basic pattern as our bouts three years ago. When offending person A doesn’t immediately hand over an apology, the injured party B either stonewalls (often me), or becomes hostile (often Kate). Both defensive mechanisms add to the problem because it breaks code in proper communication protocol. Which then incites  offending person A into a defensive game, where stonewalling or hostility are used. And on and on. Until the cycle is broken. 

I have a canker sore inside my lower right lip. It looks like a cigarette burn. Speaking of, we stayed at the Days Inn this weekend and got a non-smoking room and there was s cigarette burn in the white sheet. I said to Kate they probably don’t segregate smoking from non-smoking linens. Or maybe they do. Either way yesterday I went to Walmart to get Oragel for my mouth. I’ve tried homeopathic stuff like tea bags. I haven’t tried swishing with salt water or baking soda water but I will today. I got the cheap generic Equate brand. Which still has 20% benzocaine. I don’t think this stuff will help because the label just says it’s an anti-septic and analgesic. I thought maybe analgesic meant it would heal my mouth overnight, but once I squeezed a pea-size splot of the blue gel onto my finger and pressed it into my lip and felt the numbness like the dentist, I figured that analgesic meant pain killer. 

I’m a member of this Facebook group called Peace, Love and Synchronicity. Yesterday someone posted something like Change Your Vibration, And You Change The World. And I liked it because I often forget how much of mood is a decision. 

The high point of my day yesterday was seeing the orange Patreon logo twice in my Gmail Inbox. Followed closely by the surreal stirring of the globules of coconut oil in the steam slithering post pea milk coffee. Abstract predawn beauty. Kate got pea milk from Kroger. Said it was the same price as almond and coconut. I like it. Tastes earthy. Like dry soil and farm. Or maybe my high was the baby. She’s this ever-unfolding miracle that never fails to bring a smile to my stoic vexed ugh ah hem ha face. She’s got two teeth on the bottom, right in the middle. They’re half way up. She keeps opening her mouth and ay-yay-yay’ing like she’s a lion cub testing out her roar. It changes the day score from a 6 to a 10. 

Two days ago, Kate said the Dow dropped. Woah, I said. Like more than it’s ever dropped in a single day, she said. I don’t have any wealth in the markets. So to me it’s like meh. It’s actually kind of exciting. Here’s where a few weeks ago I would have said damn the rich. Or finally let’s level the playing field. But I’ve been listening to Joe Rogan’s string of recent guests talk about the hyper liberal Marxist approach that’s spreading like this year’s flu through academia. And I’ve been in and out of academia pittling around for most of my adult life. In short, Joe rogan and guests argue that we need a balanced approach to equality—particularly income equality. Like yes it’s egregious that 5 people contain 95% of the world’s wealth. That’s rather unfair. But the other extreme—that everyone should be outcome equal—is also preposterous because some people work harder than others. But not only that. And this is the 10-TON point I hadn’t considered until recently. The idea that everyone should be income equal is murderous—because that level of wealth redistribution requires ceding soon soon much power to a national leader, that the leader inevitably becomes a despot. You have Mao who killed 45 million in 4 years in his Great Leap Forward and Stalin who slaughtered 20 million people. The history of trying to produce equality of outcome at scale is MURDEROUS. This was surprising new information for me. 

I think I’m going to write a public thank you to my Patreon supporters soon. Not entirely as a fundraising technique but because my mom was the 5-star General of Timely Thank You’s and she instilled the habit of written gratitude in me and my sisters as mandatory social protocol. And honestly, when I get those orange Patreon logos in my inbox it makes my day. I inhale quickly, open my mouth, lift my eyebrows and feel like woah this matters, I matter, writing matters, thank god, whew, crisis averted, yeah, who are these people, whoa that’s so fascinating, what are they here for, what do they find interesting, damn this is as cool cool thing. 

 

>>>>>>>A POST-IT NOTE FOR THE READER: I'm coming to the conclusion that everyone you meet, or bump into, or sit next to, or randomly think of while boiling 6:05AM-water for coffee ....all these people need you. Not like you met them for a divine purpose, but like we ALL need each other, we ALL need as much wind in our sails as the spinning globe can muster. This is all connected. You know what I mean. Hopefully The Alt Dad Diary posts nudge you in a beneficial way. If so, nudge me back. You can support me and my diary project and what it means to tell the naked truth in a long-form format. Check out patreon.com/altdaddiary to pick a monthly supporter amount. EVEN $1 IS A DAMN NICE NUDGE.