GOOD MORNIN AMERICA>>> I WANT TO BE A DJ OF HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS> THERE. I SAID IT>

Existential crises come in many forms.

Pick up your damn cross, Jordan Peterson says. He's a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology. Christianity is pretty useful, he argues. Life will be hard, dammit. Pick up that wood slab. We all have them.

My dad’s sister’s last name is also Petersen. Except with 3 e’s. My dad keeps misspelling it —son. My aunt isn’t happy about it. My dad must have a careless gene that got passed on to me. Kate tells me hundreds of times that beer bottles aren’t recyclable and I still put them in the recycling bin.

I need to order a whiteboard from Amazon so I can write these things down.

Existential crises come in many forms.

A massage client said it’s not that hard—just mind over matter.

A needling voice in my head says its okay just ground yourself in your to-do list. Another voice squeals: No you bastard, deeper roots. Wetter soil. Darker ground. Dig. Dig. Dig.

Existential crises come in many forms.

I need more momentum. I need to change something about me or The Alt Dad Diary. I need a protein shake with broccoli sprouts— nootropics to re-galvanize cognition. Maybe cut back to every other day, and double the intensity.

I need more heat. In yoga it’s called tapas. Gut generated roar. I need more roar.

I’m a wolf.

Existential crises come in many forms.

Is The Alt Dad Diary a letter to myself? Is this an open letter to all? Is a public diary a contradiction in terms? What separates a blog from an open diary? If I say art, but confess I don’t revise, do I have ground to stand on? These are the questions my thesis committee will raise.

Existential crises come in many forms.

I thought the dry skin on my skins was fleas from the dog-friendly hotel last weekend, La Quinta in Brunswick. Or maybe sand mites from our walk on the beach. The next day the administration and me escalated into nearly nuclear. The day after my face looked like the acne I had at 16, except it wasn’t acne, it was more like really aggravated sensitive skin. Chlorine from two days consecutive swimming, I thought. I’m sure it was stress. My mom got such dry feet her heels cracked and bled and not even the dermatologists could say anything other than stress so I think it runs deep.

Existential crises come in many forms.

 

>>>A NOTE ABOUT TIME AND FASTFORWARDING::::::::::That’s all for today. I’m trying to keep it short and sweet. Rain expected for middle Georgia. If you’re into The Alt Dad Diary, this is a critical transition point. The family and I are moving back to Minnesota, which will change things. And I’m also rapidly approaching a year into the daily diary practice. If you’ve been served, please throw some love my way. The rocket boosters are running low, and we’ve not yet exited the atmosphere. Godspeed on your journey and please hit up Patreon.com/altdaddiary to become a Rocket Booster Team Member.

 

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