7 THOUGHTS I WANT TO FLAP MY WINGS & SHARE FROM A RAINY SUNDAY

1. The 5pm hot yoga sesh couldn’t have packed any more bodies in the 99-degree studio. 22, including me. I think. Afterward, mats were wet with puddle. Bangs clung to sweat shiny foreheads. Sucking down water, throats undulated. I drove home feeling born again. Like I didn’t even need the windshield wipers to see past the rain. Skin glow. Felt like my insides got wrung out. I think Rhonda Patrick and Joe Rogan are right: periodically, we need bouts of intense physical exertion. Maybe even daily. The thing is, I think it has to be fun, and maybe communal, and varied, and exciting, and not a forced routine of running on a treadmill. Ahhh!

 

2. I’m obsessed with Dr. Rhonda Patrick. She’s the play for the latest research on aging, brain health, physical performance, well-being, and nutrition.” Apparently Joe Rogan is too. And his listeners because she’s been on his podcast a total of 7 times. I’m going to re-listen to each podcast with notebook in hand, scribbling. I’m going to re-learn the biology I cheated and crammed my way through in high school.

 

3. I bought a 22x18’’ whiteboard yesterday. The idea emerged during a Saturday morning fight with Kate. What would the therapist say, I asked, or she asked, rhetorically. I hypothesized. Get a whiteboard to visually remind me of what’s really important to you, stuff that I’m apparently not hearing you say. I think we’re smarter than shrinks sometimes. Not always. But that’s the wave I’m feeling now.

 

4. I’m researching the biblical story in Genesis when Jacob wrestles with the Angel at night. I recently wrestled with a magic wolf and pummeled my pale fists into the carpet and then the bed and then my chest and then I took my hands to my throat and felt the urge to out and when the wolf left I was like whoa wha who why. The Shadow paid me a visit. The Jacob story is interesting. Dude wrestles all night with a Stranger—some translations say angel, others say man. Interpretations vary. Some scholars say Jacob’s wrestling with God, others say himself. Others enjoy the double (or triple) entendre. After wrestling all night, the sun begins to rise, and the Man says he needs to bounce and Jake says hell no not without a blessing. From then on, Jacob is called יִשְׂרָאֵל Israel. Meaning "one that struggled with the divine angel.” Again scholar interpretations vary. Rashi goes with "one who has prevailed with God.’ Whiston prefers: "a man seeing God.” I give you the minutia because I’m jaw-dropped that ancient biblical authorities collapse the distinction between God/Stranger/One’s Own Self. Who was the wolf that visited me? My Shadow Self? God? An Angel? Repressed Freudian energy? Also disclaimer: I’m not a Christian. I just think this story is dope.

 

5. Joe Rogan recommended the book “The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles

Book” by Steven Pressfield. Both Kate and my thesis advisor Peter Selgin say I need to read more. Which isn’t going to happen, because I’m not a sitter for long periods of time. I make an exception only for writing. But but but but I’ll listen to audiobooks. I’m going to write it on that whiteboard. Apparently the book argues that artists face a peculiarly strong shadow self, aimed on discouraging them from their craft. I feel this every morning the alarm goes off. Every morning, I’m typing because its just me and the keys and what do I know? Is it worth it? Are you reading? Are you liking? If no, is it worth it? Doubt man. The daily wrestle.

 

6. One step back two steps forward. Once I pass the year mark of The Alt Dad Diary, I’m thinking of making a slight alteration. Scaling back the frequency to something more organic. Instead of every morning by 7am sharp, I’m thinking about loosening my grip on the reigns. Maybe every other day. Maybe twice one day, none the next. Regular, but more organic. I’m hoping I can release a little bit of control to my inner wolf and that he’ll manifest something dynamite. I need some TNT. I think we all do. That’s why the 4th of July is emblematic, we just don’t see the human nature metaphor.

 

7. It’s odd that females were the only Hot Yoga attendees last night. This isn’t new. It’s the classic query with respect to yoga. Many high-level professional male athletes practice yoga and attest to its intensity. Most of these men say yes, it is deceivingly difficult, but it is certainly strenuous. On par with any other workout of vigor. Full body, static holds, dynamic full body movements, controlled range of motion, cardio. It’s all there. I think I’ll do another class in two weeks and offer free admission for guys. Anyway, thanks to the following ladies who came last night. It was a system sweltering blast of heat I very much needed. Props: Stacey Herbert Keaton Holly Rohan Erin Guiney Haley Jo Hensley Kate Hensley Kasey Ketner Lauren Brasher Mikayla Janis Quinn Miotti Melody Malek Libby Bochniak Emma Boughner Emily Pope McClaine Wellem Sam Hurst Savanna Cottle Haley Tidwell Leah Campolong Macie Bushell Shannon Hendrickson Mia Koriakin Gerri Marie

 

P.S. Song of the day is from last night’s playlist: “No Diggity” by Chet Faker. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIfFA8-RaHQ

 

>>>MAGIC MONDAY NOTE TO THE WEEKEND REELING READER: Yo thanks so much for being here, for reading, for sharing my headspace. I write a diary entry and put it up on Facebook every single day. And have been for the last year. It’s my hope that honest unfiltered real talk cuts away some of the toxic fakery that tends to filter our digital photos. If you l like the way I work it, you can support this work at patreon.com/altdaddiary. It goes like this. Head to Patreon. Choose a monthly dollar amount. Yo even $1/month, in the aggregate, is a massive contribution. Thanks a million drops of hot yoga sweat.

 

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