It’s important to me to keep writing. To maintain this grotto in my head, heart. This is important to me. To keep being an artist. It’s important to me to keep up this identity. Keep pushing.

 

I felt this after checking GMail and reading a message from the professor who gives a damn. He sent a quick note about books I should read. Directions I might travel. I googled and read reviews on Amazon and woah yeah wild yes ....there are other artists out there. It’s important to me to keep writing. Keep the flint stone in my pocket alive. It’s important not to give up. It’s important it’s important it’s important it’s important it’s important.

 

It’s hard to feel this when I write in the cracks in the sidewalk and quick post, gotta eat, quick post, gotta sleep, quick post, gotta work, gotta print, gotta look for jobs, gotta sell on eBay, gotta roll IT band, gotta walk dog, gotta teach yoga, gotta teach English, gotta take off my hat.

 

It’s important to me to call myself an artist, a writer, someone who is creating and working on something, on bending words like a metallurgist lifts a hammer and bangs iron into orange spark and mania. This is important to me and it’s vital that I avoid working so much that this gets swallowed up because when this gets swallowed up a piece of me that matters very much gets swallowed up.

 

Kate is at the vet with the cat. We think she has worms. I hope the vet doesn’t charge us much. Just sell us the dewormer and let’s move on. It puts the brakes on to see the cat suffering, not eating, not moving off the pillow on the bed.

 

I need to watch a YouTube video about dairy feedlots. I ate so much kale this weekend my excrement was green this morning. I mean shit. I have wicked gas. 

 

This is inside human skin. 

 

The book my mentor professor recommended is the chronology of water. What a lurid lush lick your lips title.

 

Does this post have a theme? What color combo am I wearing? 

 

I told Kate so I’ll make dinner tonight because she’s going to row and then go to a workout class and she won’t have time and she says sure but don’t put a bunch of random shit together. Make sure it goes together. Lol.

 

I am at school waiting for class to start and I hear a kid yell: ah cmon now.

 

I smile.