Driving. I pass two kids in a front yard throwing a baseball back-and-forth. One of them wearing a complete head-to-tie uniform: blue hat, orange shirt, stripes baseball pants, knee-high socks and cleats. The other kid chasing the ball and wearing raggamuffin whatever clothes: a neon shirt and shorts. This is the scene from my childhood. Over and over again. I’m the kid in the regular clothes. What does it mean to be the kid in the regular clothes? 

 

I’m walking on a dirt path in the woods. 

 

I’m not present. 

 

I’m writing. 

 

Look at the leaves, Rumpa. 

 

We look at the leaves. 

 

Look at the leaves, Rumpy.

 

And then I write about looking at the leaves. 

 

This is life as a writer. Like Instagramming every plate of food, except 2D.

 

If I had more money, I’d buy an earthing mat. Which is ironic because tipi people wouldn’t need to buy an earthing May. More money, more problems. 

 

Apparently I transitioned too quickly into barefoot shoes. Plantar fascia is fucked. Today’s run was a slog. Slog god help me jog.

 

On the drive back from woods. Kids playing baseball in the front yard are gone. Damn the birds have done a number on that that deer. It’s just bone and skin. Just since this morning.

 

Don’t forget. Follow up on MNSure. Health care and foos stamps. We now have zero income. Someone said these public funds aren’t meant for you. They’re meant for people who really can’t get jobs. Not just entitled highly educated who choose not to get jobs. 

 

I don’t know how to respond. 

 

I haven’t messaged but I found someone who takes herbal apprentices. Also applied for a mushroom cultivation internship.

 

Why does the iPhone autocorrect internship to “obey ethanol”?

 

I feel like I’ve become (and love the fact that I’ve become) a research machine that just BASE jumps down rabbit holes: essential oil diffusers and qi gong and vape pens and Paul Chek.

 

Does anyone know vape pens that don’t leech heavy metals? Does anyone vape essential oils? 

 

Apparently one drop of essential peppermint oil is the equivalent of 19 cups of peppermint tea. 

 

Did you know that. 

 

I closed my eyes today and felt my right palm pressing against my left and I saw the two sides of the universe merge together and create a light like a dawn. 

 

I’m returning the stainless steel water bottle I bought from Amazon for 18.99. I can use an empty Braggs ACV jar or empty ghee jar or wait for rain and open my mouth.