how to park a penske truck

Couldn’t sleep last night. Mind ON. 


Cancel Nashville. Expedia refund. Plan for further. Plan for Louisville. Dog friendly? Yes. Fee? Yes. Back door? Yes. 


The benefit of not sleeping is the in-between state. Lucid sleep. Lucid wake. Limbo land. Half between between. Here and there. La la land. I made use of the time and instead of writing a gratitude list I thought one up in my head. Amazing how people populate the list. And health. Nothing about money. Even the dog made the list. And the cat. The cat before the dog, I think. It does charge the day in a different way. 


The name of the moving game is to Re-fucking-lax. Up and down the ramp. Up and down. This box here. This boxspring there. The name of the moving game is to relax. But that’s not just the name of the moving game. It’s the name of the game period. 


The truck is 97% packed. The dryer is on. There is a Home Run pizza in the oven with feta and garlic and green onions. The baby is napping. The mattress is the only furniture item remaining. Aside from the green sports watching chair I’m sitting on. And the one across from me. 


Email the Lake Harriet 5k people to see if I can volunteer. 


Message Bradley. 


Write something up on Craigslist about dreadlocks in Minnesota. 


If you haven’t you should listen and relisten to the interview with Paul Stametz on the Joe Rogan. 


And then listen to the podcast called Psychedelic Salon. Anything with Terrence M. 


The 22-foot Penske truck is difficult to drive. Only inch or two between either line. Parking is very very difficult. Kate parked it the first time. I parked it the second time. And the second time took 10 minutes. 


We packed the truck in 2 hours. I like walking back in forth. Over and over again. 


I like being in control of my life. 


At the end of our meeting, Bradley said see you at the top. 


I don’t think I’m being pessimistic, Bradley, or selling myself short, but I don’t think the top is what’s important. At least not for me, right this second. That qualifier is important. 


I think its important to recognize how our desires fluctuate with the time of day. I’m staring at the oven now. The timer says 9:20. The pepperoni pizza. 


We turned the wifi router back to Spectrum, which is a subsidiary of Charter. The house is noticeably more chill. 


DMT should be legal. It’s only a 15 minute trip. And it’s a window, from a Terrence McKenna explanation, into how small we are in this great gyrating jungle gym cosmos. 


Psilocybin mushrooms should be legal, too. So many benefits. With all mushrooms. Hence the coming internship. Check out


Hitting the road tomorrow. I’ve enjoyed Georgia immensely. Like the sip of a cup of coffee. Which is why I’ll be back. 


Enjoyed Salamander Springs farm, Blackbird Coffee, my mentor in the Georgia College MFA program, my dreaded friends, my yoga friends, this guy I met named Bradley who wore blue for a year, this other guy I met named D who walks around town all day and can flow but you wouldn’t think it just looking at him, this guy I met named Noah who is moving too, even further south, closer to the damn gulf. I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to push push push and learn learn learn. I have a lot of confidence with words on the wa wa page, but I’ve learned much technique and skill from the three years here at the GCSU masters program. I’ve enjoyed the heat too. Especially the mild winters. I’ve enjoyed having EllieRoo be born in the Milledgeville hospital and having Bertram and Selma be here first year of life backyard. I’m thankful for my friend Clark the psychologist. I’m thankful for Mouse for making the journey with me. When we first came down here 3 years ago, the first night we spent in this shitty mobile home seven or eight miles outside of town and mice and roaches crawled over us at night and Kate was crying and I was like fuck we gotta do something, and we figured it out, spent a few nights at the yellow hotel by Walmart, I think it’s called America’s Best Value. I think making lists of gratitude begets more items on the list. My sister Alexandra who is also a writer, Albeit a different sort. 


A new page. A clean page. 


My goals for this upcoming mushroom internship, I told Kate, are two. First to not burn any bridges. Second to learn a lot. Kate nodded. Said yeah that first one is important. 


Thanks to all the Blackbird baristas. And also for James. If you don’t know James, he gave me this Garmin running watch. An old one. He said there’s one stipulation: when you’re done with it, don’t sell it, just give it away. What a human being. 


Thanks everyone. 


1:36 left on the pizza.