93 cents


Bedtime. Doubled up the pillow. Clogged head. Sinuses slammed. Drip clog. Empty Kleenex box. 1am boil water, add essential oil, put head over steam and breathe breathe breathe. 2am lie on floor and stretch: thread the needle, childs pose. 3am why god why melodramatic I know.

6:08am Fuck it, toesies in Lake Harriet. Father swimming the wrong way between buoys. Bad omen. The air and water felt aggressively cold. Fingers looked white within minutes. I figured the system shock would kick start immune system. 20 minutes of freestyle. Then teeth chattering in car, heat blasting. Better than lying in bed like a sick dog.

By the way the dog was sick last night too.

Big breakfast. Me and Mouse and the baby ate together, all of us, just the three of us, for the first time all week. Hash with eggs on top. Minced bacon, sweet potato, plantain, onion, garlic. Cups of coffee.

Baby is crabby. Still sick?

Kate was going to spend the Baby’s R Us gift card this morning on the next size car seat but Baby’s R Us is going out of business and cancelled all the gift cards. Millions of moms fucked. My outrage is surpassed by the humor of it all. What specifically? It all. Trump wakes up at 10am, they say. Lol.

It’s 11:44 am and I just bought a 93 cent plane ticket from Minneapolis to Long Island to drive my grandmothers Honda Accord from New York to Minnesota. 93 cents.

I’m assuming I’ll acclimatize to the cold water. Or I won’t. Anybody have a spare wet suit? What did they do before wet suits?

You have to do some extreme exercise each day. I understand days off. I’m not talking about days off. I mean I personally need to be training for something. Need to be enmeshed in a mania in order to stay sane. The irony of paradox. Or yen paradox of irony.

Dinner is in the oven. Roasting beets, onions, carrots, bacon from breakfast. Already sautéed the beet greens. Cooked. Added cilantro.

I need to clean the bathroom because I told Kate I would but I’m so tired from being up at 1 and 2 and 3.