Lock jaw

I guess I’ll write about this morning’ swim then too.


I texted dad to 5:30 AM. Woke up at 4:45 stumble passed a box of Kleenex into the car. Drove through the sleepy should I have stayed in bed today.


At Lake Harrier. I saw his yellow cap and orange floaty and thrash thrash thrash. He’d already got in. I took my time this morning carefully placed my sweatshirt and my pants on the ledge because last time I mis placed my hat in the after swim hypothermia.


Visited porta potty. Put my goggles on. Then went back to potty again.


Upon toes in. Ahhh. Colllld. Which is a bad sign. First impressions you know. But I waded until my ankles then waded until my knees and at hips I dove. Started swimming freestyle toward the first buoy. Not bad I thought. Not bad at all. I mean in terms of temperature.

I manage to get to the first buoy without dry coughing, damn MN summer cold, just stroking stroking stroking. Admiring green blue jade very large lake.


Then. Numb pinky. I told myself never mind doesn’t matter no mind no matter. Tell myself that maybe pick up the pace so I picked up the pace. Then the pinky on the other hand turned white and I could see it through the water on the extension of my arm. White pinky. Glide. And then the ring finger and middle finger. On both hands. And then my jaw. Start to feel it in my lips, so I buzz them to keep them alive. 


Then my mind starts flutter kick checking out thought slow down very slowly as if in fact mud and that’s not good. It’s also not obvious. Not subtle either. Some slippery water substance in between.


Then teeth chatter. Just a little chitchat.


Then I turned around. No circumnavigation this morning. Wanted to go the whole way. But thickness of cold chatter head sleepy mind you know you start shutting down your brain to preserve your organs. It’s very much a race back to the shore.


Whole body cold. Brain feels like it’s rattling like a water bottle in a moving truck.


I made it back shivering put my clothes on crank the heat in the car looked at the watch is around 606 and I knew that dad had at least half an hour left.


Google Maps. Coffee. Drive. Park. $2.60 for a medium coffee light roast at Dunn Brothers. I didn’t leave a tip. I should’ve. I was shivering and I should’ve but 260 is a lot for a cuppa coffee. It’s 1.69 at McDonald’s. I think.


I did half-and-half even though the intermittent fasting says I should only eat at 9 AM but fuck it you know I’m freezing.


So I’m in the market for a wetsuit.


Drive sip mmmm back to the lake and waited for dad finish. I watch the waves in splash orange boy as he makes his way from the third buoy to the fourth buoy them back shore. Watch the people jog by with dogs some and slowly my teeth stop chat chat chat. The coffee was delicious.


Specially with the half-and-half. Oh well. You do what you Gotta do when you’re freezing your ass off. I’m training with the philosophy that my body will acclimatize. Figure it out. Maybe I need to have hot hot hot coffee before.


Lot of non writers say they have nothing to write about. bullshit. What are you doing right now. What are you wearing. Where is the stress in your right shoulder blade? Why is it there? What did you have for breakfast? Did you have breakfast? Are you multitasking while you had breakfast? Do you think about what you’re having for breakfast tomorrow?


I spent the day mulching my father-in-law’s house. Then Kate and I had grass fed beef, avocado, Greek yogurt, cilantro, and sautéed broccoli. Then a few minutes before six with baked apples with cinnamon coated pecans. And the clock struck six and time restricted eating began.


Now I’m speaking into a phone as I drive west on 694 to a 7:50 PM soccer game.


I’m contemplating whether I should take a very hard labor job that involves landscaping and moving heavy boulders and lots of mulch for the rest of the summer. Whether to take the summer off from work and be a substitute in the fall. Whether I should apply for this 5 AM to 2 PM line cook job at a breakfast place down the street. Or whether I should just swim and focus on writing.


I’ll have gills soon dammit.