Oh jeepers. 20 minutes before work. Short shift today.
Even after ibuprofen and ice bath, baby still has a fever. Up all night. Me, Mouse, baby.
Instead of staying in bed, I got up at 4 am and drove to Lake Harriet. Was planning on 5:40 toes in the water. Instead, I pulled up to the north beach at 4:35. Dad’s CRV was already there. Lunatic genetics, Jesus. Who gets up at 4AM on a Saturday morning to swim in a lake before dawn? This morning was my first double—meaning twice around. Dad brought coffee with cream in a thick thermos to keep it warm. The first lap was sleepy silver predawn slow stretch. The second lap was bright sun day quick stroke fast brain thinking. 55 minute first lap. 52 minute second lap.
I’ve been eating a lot lately. Gorging, it feels like. Uncontrollable urges. At night. In the middle of the night. In the middle of the morning. Like it’s feasting season.
I’m moving my way through 10% Happier. Chewing on the proposition that the Buddhists herald: stay present. So much suffering is in the mind’s clinging to the side of permanence, when there is none. This morning’s swim is a vivid illustration. Watching night turn to day.
Head in the water. Head out. Head in the water. Head out.
I’d say more later. But does that take for granted the now? Can’t be perfect. I spent 20 minutes with the baby sleeping in my shoulder last night, the 20 minutes before screaming, looking at Carhartt overalls and Duluth Trading Company work pants. Despite my minimalism and buy nothing preaching. We’re wired to shop and believe we can buy our personality.
Also if you haven’t jumped in a lake lately, put your head down, and paddled past the buoys, I’d recommend it.
What would you recommend?